Tuesday, March 10, 2015

Full Time Mum

How can you not be a full-time mum? Whether you work or not, you just have to be a full-time mum. There's no such a thing as part-time mum, isn't it? So maybe the correct palabra is stay-at-home mum. Yes, it's more like it. A mum who "just" stay home, not working at the office is a stay-home-mum instead of a full-time mum. Honestly I hate those palabras. Why we even need to label mums, women, people, in the first place? A mum is a mum, period!

Anyway, a letter from the university where I worked almost 15 years, which is also the place where I studied, came this week. It's an official letter that stated they fired me with honor (?). Very interesting words, huh? I'm fired from the university, with an honor. Actually I have resigned several years ago, when decided to follow my husband and live my life as an expat *wink. But as a civil servant of course they have to fire me instead.

How do I feel? Honestly, nothing...or maybe I feel numb to be precise. I love my job, as a lecturer, working with dental students who are pursuing their dream really kept me felt alive and young :) Not to mention the pressure to keep up with the newest knowledge and skill, also technology, which made me pushed myself even further. The salary is close to nothing, as I needed to pay nanny (even nannies) and driver when I worked. But the satisfaction was unbeatable! I missed it, yes, and still am missing it. Even though I won't trade anything to the opportunity to be close to my children and husband, and keeping the family together.

Just read Amy Nielson's piece on Huffington Post " 5 Things You Should Never Say to a Stay-at-Home Mom", and it really stroke me with some facts, including the one regarding other people's comments on your/my decision. It is funny, but can be ironic too...

It is hard not having the option to get out from the house and "hide" behind cubicle or my desk at the office for hours, get away from hearing the kids calling you over and over to ask where's this or that or sometimes the argumentation between brothers over "small" things. It is hard for not having your "own" money that you earn with your sweat, brain and sometimes tears, and spend it for whatever you want.Nevertheless I still choose to live this kind of life, for what I believe I want to do and grateful to have. I stand where I should and want to be.

As Amy said in the article, it is not easy when people comes to you and tell you that ,"you are so brave to choose this" or that they don't know if they can do the same or, " what do you do with the degree that you have. For God's sake, you studied to be a dentist and you end up being a stay-home mum?". Even worse: "I wonder what your parents said/thought. They sacrificed a lot for you and now you're jobless?"

Espejo en Hacienda de La Trinidad

I really think I shouldn't even answer those questions. It's not even a question, it's a judgement. There are better words and sayings to show support instead of judging one's decision, no? Amy gave some good examples of those sayings. And I wish more people say those things instead of judging my choice. But why bother? Decision de uno is personal. Nobody would understand one's circumstances. Sometimes they don't even care, so why judge their decision?

So here I am, a full-stay-home mum, a dentist-or used to be a dentist by profession, a blogger-whenever I feel like it, a quilter-when I have time to sit, and many more.

One thing I'm sure I'll do with my life is to keep learning. Learn anything the world has to offer. Just because: "It is the men of knowledge who can truly realize God" (35:28) and “Say: ‘Are those equal, those who know and those who do not know?” (Sûrah al-Zumar : 9)

Indeed there are so many signs in the world for us to learn, every single day!



  • " Behold! In the creation of the heavens and the earth, in the alternation of the night and the day, in the sailing of the ships through the ocean for the profit of mankind, in the rain which Allah sends down from the skies, and the life which Allah gives therewith to an earth that is dead, in the beasts of all kinds that Allah scatters through the earth, in the change of the winds, and the cloud which they trail like their slaves between the sky and the earth; (Here)indeed are signs for a people who have sense" (Al Baqarah: 164)





Monday, February 23, 2015

Doors

Apa yang menarik dari sebuah pintu? I'm not that smart to know the answer, however I found that every door tells a story of what's behind it and where it is! So here we are, doors that we encountered... (the photos also told a story that the eyes behind the lens are belong to a shopaholic :)

Arte Murano, San Antonio de Los Altos, Caracas

(Gran) Roques, Venezuela


Posada Natura Vida, Los Roques, Venezuela



Of course, Madrid

Salamanca District, Madrid

Puerta Alcala, Madrid



The Hague

The Hague

Berlin

Casco Viejo, Panama

Casco Viejo, Panama City

Le Marais, Paris

Paris

Paris

 



Le Marais, Paris


Rue du Temple


The Hague

St Rosa de Lima, Caracas



Grande Mosquée, Paris
 I must say the most interesting place for doors, so far,  is Paris...



Sunday, January 11, 2015

No soul deserves to die because of our ignorance


Not in France, nor in Palestine.
Not in Ferguson, nor in Bangui.

Time to educate ourselves and our community.
Learn our faith thoroughly and properly.
Practice the teaching correctly, be a human who leaves a good legacy in the world.

Lately, Twitter has drawn my attention to Dan Cohen and his story.
One of few men who still have a heart and bravery to show us the injustice that is happening on one side of the world, while the other part is promoting freedom of speech and equality.

Wish him to be guided and protected by the God.
Follow him on Twitter @dancohen3000

Monday, January 5, 2015

Banyak Baca Banyak Menulis

Sempat bingung kenapa anak-anak "dipaksa" baca di sekolahnya. Kadang sampai dibuatkan log book dan ditetapkan waktu minimal untuk membaca setiap hari. Waktu lihat jadwal mereka pun, sempat terpana karena setiap hari paling tidak mereka habiskan 3 jam pelajaran untuk literacy. 

Belakangan dan pelan-pelan mengertilah saya tentang beberapa hal. Yang pertama, kemampuan menulis itu penting dalam kehidupan nyata. Ibu saya selalu menekankan hal tsb, dan sebisa mungkin saya terapkan. Tetapi baru belakangan saya sadar kenapa itu penting. Salah satunya adalah fakta bahwa buku-buku mengenai ajaran agama yang saya anut dan sejarahnya sangat terbatas tersedia. Yang banyak menulis buku semacam itu adalah ilmuwan2 Iran yang memang terkenal pintar. Buku-buku tsb bagus untuk dibaca, tetapi sebaiknya diimbangi dengan buku-buku yang ditulis dari sudut pandang yang lain. Sementara itu buku yang bisa menunjukkan ajaran Islam sejati, yang penuh kedamaian, tanpa disalahartikan dengan budaya Arab, atau budaya lain yang cenderung mengambil keuntungan dari ajaran tsb tanpa menelaah lebih dalam konteks dan prasyaratnya belum banyak saya temukan. 

Buku A Thousand of Splendid Suns dari Khaled Hosseini yang sempat menjadi NYT best seller, misalnya, hanya menggambarkan satu faset dari ribuan faset umat Islam di dunia. Tapi karena populer, maka gambaran Islam yang seperti disajikan dalam buku itulah yang akan mengendap di benak pembacanya. Adakah penulis lainnya yang bisa menunjukkan bahwa ajaran Islam bukan hanya mengenai poligami, keterbatasan pendidikan untuk wanita, dsb? Karenanya penting bagi kita semua untuk bisa menulis, menyampaikan pendapat dan keberanan serta fakta yang mungkin banyak orang perlu tahu.

Selain itu di dunia nyata, di dunia kerja, menulis adalah bagian sehari-hari dalam kehidupan. Laporan, email, resume, dll, semuanya dianggap formal bila disajikan dalam bentuk tertulis dan dikerjakan setiap hari.

Ternyata bisa menulis tidak sama dengan pandai menulis setelah kita banyak membaca. Karenanya literacy di sekolah macam anak2 saya selalu berarti membaca dan menulis. Kenapa? Ya karena dengan banyak membaca kita jadi punya banyak kosa kata, mengerti grammar dengan baik, memahami gaya penulisan, dll. Malahan anak2 saya dibiasakan membaca dengan lebih dalam, mencari arti di balik kata-kata penulis, membayangkan situasi dan kondisi si tokoh, dan sebagainya. Saya sendiri sadar kalau saya perlu banyak membaca sebelum bisa menulis dengan baik waktu memulai mencoba menulis esay dalam bahasa Inggris. Nah kalau buku dalam bahasa Inggris yang dibaca hanya sedikit, kosa kata dan idiom yang dipakai sangat terbatas dan cenderung datar, kan. Itu sebabnya sampai sekarang esay tsb belum juga selesai. 

Anyway, ya saya sedang berusaha memaksa diri untuk membaca lebih banyak. Adalah benar kata Allah SWT dalam surat Al Alaq yang disampaikanNya sebagai ayat yang pertama untuk Rasulullah, yang sekaligus menunjukkan pentingnya iqra bagi manusia.

Al Alaq: QS 96: 1-8
Read! In the Name of your Lord, Who has created (all that exists),
Has created man from a clot (a piece of thick coagulated blood).
Read! And your Lord is the Most Generous,
Who has taught (the writing) by the pen [the first person to write was Prophet Idrees (Enoch)],
Has taught man that which he knew not.
Nay! Verily, man does transgress all bounds (in disbelief and evil deed, etc.).
Because he considers himself self-sufficient.
Surely! Unto your Lord is the return.


Baca, bacalah ilmu yang Allah SWT telah berikan di dunia ini. Bacalah semua yang tersurat dan tersirat di alam. Baca dan jadilah manusia yang berakal.
Yang terpenting baca dan pelajari kitabmu (self reminder)

Foto: Arif dengan segala posisi membacanya. 

Ndhodhok di kereta

nunggu pesanan

tengkurep

gaya bapak-bapak

hampir tidur

posisi gaya



Wednesday, August 27, 2014

One Thing I Learned from History

That it's ok to be different.
In fact, we are all different and created differently. That's natural.

If we understand that we are different and understand the difference, we can just try to respect one another. Learning how to live together without compromising our values and beliefs, in a safe and nurturing community. It's called unity in diversity. Coexisting while making sure that everyone should be able to maintain their own identity.

Understand that we are different and understand the difference.
How hard it can be?


Saturday, August 16, 2014

Apparently, We Don't Need Much

Usually on the weekends we have water rationing in our neighbourhood. Means we won't have water during the day on Saturday and Sunday.

So far I feel lucky that at least we have water for the rest of the week. Many people on the other side of the city will not have water for two weeks, or even more, without knowing when it will be available. Moreover the apartment itself has its own water tank, huge one, that can supply the twelve families who live here for the weekend. As long as we use it cautiously *I think there's another word for this, but I can't remember it for now.

Anyway, since 12 am last night, officially it's Saturday 00.00, we don't have water at all. Nothing, none! I suppose somehow the pump stopped working since yesterday, so the tank was not filled as usual. Yesterday night we had Eid dinner for several friends from the office, so yes I had a big pile of dishes and utensils that could have done something bad for my temper this morning. Luckily we have finished clean it up right on time, which is 00.30 am, so I could wake up feeling relieved.

With no water, the four of us have all the reason for being chillax the whole morning. After time passed 12 pm, it just didn't feel right anymore. So the boys went to school to swim and take a shower, and I stay home trying to take care some dishes from the breakfast and figure out how to take a bath myself.

The dishes were done, with half bucket of water (we do have couple of big bucket of water and some refill bottles, so it works for now). Take a bath? That can be a problem, since I loooove taking shower. After working around it for a while, I found out that I just need 5 scoops of water to clean up myself. Plus 3 scoops of water to do the ablution (wudhu'). That's all!

Thinking about that, I was reminded on how little actually we need. I've done it before, I mean 5 scoops of water para bañar, when we were in Semarang and needed to go to the water company (PT PAM) every once in a while after school to collect water and bring it home. But doing it again after all this time and after got through many thing in life (I mean: old...) is just refreshing (?, again not sure if this is the right word). I just realized that after all, we only need a little of everything. We don't necessary need many things that we collect or buy or have right now.


Unintentionally we have been trying to minimize things. The fact that we have to move every now and then make me realize that the less the better. You don't want to spent the last months of your stay in a country sorting things out, which ones should be sold, which one should be donated, etc etc.  Last time I moved to this place, I remember that we only needed some clothes, documents and a rice cooker. And around six months we lived with that (plus some plates and utensils that I bought later on).

I also bought the bed sheet that we use for the master bed four years ago. Since then we just wash it whenever it needs to be cleaned and right away we use it again. One bed sheet for the whole four years! And that's apparently enough ... When we are travelling we also try to minimize our luggage and bring only a carry-on for each of us. Less fuss, less stress and it works well! I even wrote a piece about travelling light on MJEducation.com.

How little we actually need. So why waste on things, materialistic things?
This is me asking myself.